12 Questions to Ask Before You Marry by Clayton King

Author:Clayton King
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780736941952
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers

It’s worth repeating: Just because you are in love with someone does not mean you are compatible with them. Be wise. Pay attention. And choose well!

Chapter 7

Have You Communicated Your Expectations?

Getting married may be the one event you have most looked forward to in your life. Sure, there are other big days. Graduating from high school. Getting your first job. Receiving your college diploma. Having your first child. Yet no event carries with it as much excitement and anticipation as the wedding day. And as you anticipate that day and the lifelong relationship that will follow it, your mind and heart generate certain hopes, ideas, and dreams.

Ask any teenage girl and she will agree. By age 13 most young women are dreaming about kind of dress they want to wear, what kind of flowers will be there, what song they will dance to with their new husband, the color of the bridesmaids’ dresses, and every song that will be played or sung during the wedding ceremony.

Ask any young man and he too will agree, but for very different reasons. Guys anticipate the wedding not because of the beauty and majesty of the ceremony, but because of what they get to do afterward. Frankly, the guy is thinking about the honeymoon. So the wedding is the final step in arriving at his destination.

Because all of us think and dream about the wedding day and what will follow, we also imagine what being married will be like. It’s impossible not to! Can you tell a kid not to imagine what Disney World will be like after you’ve announced the family is going there? Can you tell yourself not to imagine what the Grand Canyon will look like after you’ve bought your tickets to Arizona? The same phenomenon applies to marriage. We create our own ideas of what it will be like long before we actually get there.

These are called expectations.

Every single person has expectations for marriage. We may not know that we have them, but we do. They are there, deeply embedded in our heart or worn on our sleeve in full view of the world. Often unaware, we import these expectations with us into the wedding day and the marriage that follows. But we rarely understand just how powerful they are because we are consumed with excitement of the event. It’s usually sometime after the honeymoon is over and the newness has worn off that those silent, unseen expectations begin to reveal themselves. When they do, it’s almost always a tremendous surprise to your husband or wife, because they had no idea you actually expected them to do things a certain way!

Charie and I hope this chapter will encourage you to dig deep into your heart and uncover your expectations about marriage. You need to think about this now so you can communicate with your potential mate before the wedding, not after. If you don’t, you may catch them off guard. They may accuse you of being sneaky, dishonest, or less

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